What does “Canal Street” mean to you?

If you’ve ever heard of it, I’m guessing that you’ve bought a “Coach” or “Louis Vuitton” handbag, “Rolex” watch, or maybe a bootlegged DVD of a current blockbuster.

Well, up until yesterday, I’ve never been.  I’ve been DYING to go to Canal Street to shop for “Coach” handbags.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

A friend of mine gave me a brief lesson. 

Go down Canal Street.  Go in the handbag shops, and ask if they have “Coach”.

I thought it would be that easy.  Pick a store, stop in, ask for “Coach” and choose from what they show me.

No.  No.  No.

The first ten or so stores told me NO.  Finally, I found one who told me yes, but come back in ten minutes, the police are nearby.  So, my friends and I decided to stop at a street vendor and get the kids soda and pretzels while we wait it out. 

But while we were standing there, a nice older Asian lady approached me offering “Tiffany” bracelets.  I told her that I don’t wear jewelry, and she grabbed my left hand and looked at my wedding ring set and said, “Oh, you do”.  I told her I’m not interested, so she then offered me Coach.

Ahhhh.  This is what I was waiting for.  I told her yes, and that was why I was wandering around her city.  She lead us down a side/cross street and suggested one of us adults sit on a doorstoop with the children while the other two adults come with her. 

INTO THE BACK OF HER MINIVAN!

Yes, into her van we went.  She closed the door and my girlfriend and I were terrified.  The back of her van had piles and piles of “Coach” and “Chanel” (not my thing) handbags and wallets.  We dug through her piles as she kept throwing dollar amounts at us.  In less than seven minutes, my girlfriend purchased one purse and I spent $130.00 and I had no idea what I owned when I got out of her vehicle. My other girlfriend who was sitting with the kids was horrified, and opted out of the “shopping” opportunity.   I ended up with these:

So, we moved on, and decided to find some dinner.  We were hoping for Chinese food… go figure, we were in the center of Chinatown, NYC, USA! 

We couldn’t find one single place that didn’t look like a take-out-kitchen-type dump, but we ran into another woman who offered her van experience to us. 

And I took it.  Because I am a glutton for punishment, and a purse-whore.  I got in the back of this van alone, and found for Alli for $35.00. 

Ultimately, we didn’t find any Chinese food, and opted to find the Subway out of Chinatown instead.

On the way out, I was “offered” DVDs, and again, being the sucker for a bargain and adventure that I am, I bought five bootlegged DVDs that are all currently running in the theaters.

Alli was a nervous wreck after my second shopping “experience” but once she started looking at my bags, she was thrilled, and even decided that she wanted

instead of

So we traded.

We found the subway station and went back to Time Square to more legitimate and family-friendly tourist spots like Toys R Us.